caught somewhere
between delusion and prophecy
†††††††
nil desperandum.
ad astra per aspera, annus mirabilis.
*i used to have a "this blogger is...[x]-positive" thing here, listing things i support and post frequently about, except i realized that it was akin to a disclaimer, and i don't want to issue warnings about myself.
so instead, hey: this blog often contains unapologetic support of a spectrum of aspects of the human condition. you can deal with it or see your way out.
troll(s) under my bridge
DISCLAIMER:
THIS BLOG MAY AT TIMES CONTAIN MATERIAL THAT IS NSFW.
some of my favorite pieces from my portfolio for ap studio
proud of myself despite my procrastination and half-ass-ery on most of it (whoops)
l-r, top to bottom:
- come, sweet love — inspired by the song mushrooms & roses by janelle monae, mixed media (pen, marker, acrylic, watercolor)
- recidivism — partly influenced by the song bury your flame by la dispute, mixed media (pencil, marker, paint marker, acrylic, watercolor)
- bitter fruit — inspired by the most beautiful bitter fruit by la dispute, digital
- expletive — azelia banks still from 212, charcoal
- requiem — my ~award winning~ shaylor piece haha, mixed media (watercolor, acrylic, marker, photocopy)
- smoke signals — partly influenced by safer in the forest by la dispute, mixed media (colored pencil, acrylic, marker)
tell me about the stupid little things that hurt you that you don’t find pleasure in telling others about and tell me how your favorite season reminds you of your mother’s favorite color and how you aren’t able to sleep at night because of the weight pressing down on your chest tell me about the moments where you held your breath because you didn’t want to ruin it and then about the moments where your heart was beating so fast you couldn’t help but gasp for air i want to know your thoughts and to know the inside of your lungs and the way your collarbones stick out under the covers tell me things you can’t tell anyone because i can worry about them for you and relieve you of that weight for a few hours
holy heck
I’m rereading the bell jar and when Esther and Buddy are together at one point in Buddy’s room she reads “somewhere I have never traveled” fknjfskjgksJrhfkjndknjrg it all connects now because the reason I ever wanted to read the bell jar in the first place was identifying with margo in paper towns when she quotes the bell jar and the reason I’m rereading the bell jar is the same reason I was so into la dispute a little while back and I love that poem and would’ve never read it if I didn’t listen to la dispute
basically everything that’s cross-referenced in these things just reaffirms my loneliness and sadness
but I’m actually really excited and amazed by it?? like it actually just made my day even despite that realization I came to as I wrote this post
